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In other news, besides the VP's li'l toy gun mishap... Feb. 15th, 2006 @ 03:22 pm
beastofbourbon
Quick, someone go find Powell and get him back in front of the U.N.!  We got this shit off eBay, so we know it's legit.
The deluded among you who think the Democrats will someday have the upper hand while Harry Reid calls the shots need look no further than this to see how it's a pipe dream right out of a Cheech & Chong movie.  What a disgrace.  Don't take my word for it, listen to the head of the DNC himself, Howard Dean, who knows all too well how old-money Democrats fear and loathe outsiders.
The U.S. and Israel will try to destabilize the Hamas government of Palestine so it implodes and another, Western-friendly election will take place, so says the New York Times.  Israeli officials argue that "a close look at the election results shows that Hamas won a smaller mandate than previously understood."  Hm, I sure hope the Israelis don't take a close look at *our* election results from 2004, they might find the same thing with Bush's mandate.  Not that Bush has ever dated a man, but with Jeff Gannon close at hand, who knows?
China's been bad, so our Republican boys in Congress took a look.  That'll learn 'em!  See, them Chinamens are backtracking already, by golly.  Now let's move on to bigger issues, like the War on Easter.
In case you missed it, America is doing everything it can to stop the killing in Darfur.  Take it from a real dick.  We're also winning the war, stopping hunger, curing cancer and conducting free and fair elections.
Congress is not worth a steaming shit, and this is why.  They won't bother to look into this, either, because they're loaded down with the same kind of rat bastards at the beck and call of lobbyists.
Fair and balanced Matt "Egghead" Drudge is linking to a FOX News article about how Senate minority leader Harry Reid concealed his stroke last year for a few days, right below his links to the Cheney post-shooting communications bungle.  Drudge does this with every breaking story to show how DNC pigs are no better than GOP pigs.  In this case, Asshat Matt, I'm with you... take Reid down!  In fact, you guys on the Right can have him.  Stick him in the same rubber room you keep Zell Miller.
Robert Redford is obviously not among my readership of five.  He recently told Newsweek, "I don't think anyone's connecting the dots and saying to the public, 'Wake up, folks, because you could end up in a totalitarian nightmare, wondering what happened to your country.'"  Maybe I need more dots.  Maybe I need to get on a hip list or two.
Ken Starr, Festering Boil on Satan's Lying Ass... but Bubba and the rest of us knew that.  Hey Starr, I think we got a new case for you: mebbe you can snoop around, spend $40 million of taxpayer money and find out why Cheney and his Swiss cheese buddy were out a-huntin' and a-drinkin' with two women—one of whom is the U.S. Ambassador to Switzerland—who were not their wives?  (In Kenedy County, of all places!)  Talk about a Tricky Dick...
Those of us who suspected 'Revenge of the Sith' was a thinly veiled rip on the neocon mindset: correct, were you.
And I once thought as a child that playing Dungeons & Dragons was living on the edge.  Either humans are inherently strange, Darwin's theory is at work, or there are just too many of us.
Final word on The Shooting™ (cue dramatic CNN music).  Did Dick Cheney plan to save his worthless hide from prosecution and imprisonment for treason by orchestrating an elaborate scheme to distract the press and public, allowing him to resign and be hastily pardoned?  Or did he simply get tanked and wildly blast some hapless old coot in the face?  Read this and this, then join us in our growing chorus of "WTF."
"Through hospital officials, Whittington has declined to comment."

Probably hard to hear him through the bandages anyway, don'tcha think?

(cue music) "In a world where liberals aid & comfort terrorists - theirs is a special friendship..." Feb. 13th, 2006 @ 01:48 pm
beastofbourbon
Hey, don't plame—err, blame me... this stuff is just writing itself, okay?


"Accidental" humor Feb. 13th, 2006 @ 10:14 am
beastofbourbon

Swann into GOP race, GOP into Swann race Feb. 13th, 2006 @ 03:37 am
beastofbourbon
So Lynn Swann, at the urgent behest of his supporters and timed right after Pittsburgh's Super Bowl win, has announced he's challenging Ed Rendell for the governorship of Pennsylvania.  That's great, Mr. Swann.  Two things, though.  You're representing a political party that has demonstrable distate for people of color, and you squawked one of George W. Bush's favorite things to say to blacks, when one or two happen to be in his select(ed) audience: "The Democrats have taken the African-American vote for granted."  As opposed to the Republicans, who simply have taken the African-American vote away.


Condi Rice, Lynn Swann & Armstrong Williams want a cracker.
But I know why the caged bird will sing...

Why, Mr. Swann, why?  What compels you to join that select group of token minorities the Republicans and the Bush Administration hype to take credit for diversifying government, while using them to do their dirty work?  If your beef really is that Democrats take blacks for granted, why not go this route and help begin the drive for a strong, centrist third party in this country to once and for all destroy the two extremes that have brought us all to the brink of obsolescence?

Cheney busts cap in ass of 78 year-old Feb. 12th, 2006 @ 05:46 pm
lullabypit
Cheney accidentally shoots hunting companion
Sun Feb 12, 2006 4:26 PM ET165
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a 78-year-old man while hunting for quail on a ranch in Texas, U.S. television networks reported on Sunday.

Cheney's hunting companion, Harry Whittington, was "alert and doing fine" in the hospital after being shot on Saturday with shotgun pellets, CNN reported ranch owner Katharine Armstrong said. (Story.)
A White House spokesman said this is the first time Cheney has shot someone by accident.

Too much snark, too little time:

1: Why the hell didn't this happen when he was hunting with Scalia?
2: Why doesn't he go hunting with Bush more often?
3: Does Whittington look like Pat Leahy?

Feel free to add your own....

:xpost:
Current Music: "Non-Stop Violence" by Apoptygma Berzerk
Other entries
» Go Evo
Evo Morales, newly elected president of Bolivia and Latin America's first indigenous leader, wants to allow coca cultivation to not only be legal but encouraged among poor farmers.  His defiance against the U.S. with its billion-dollar drug war was a big factor in the recent election that brought him to power.  Bolivians see it as almost a spiritual issue, given their intrinsic, ancient ties to the coca plant.

A Bolivian farmer said, "In other countries, they say coca is drugs, but we don't use drugs.  It's the gringos who use drugs."

No kidding.


» Bush I pouts about "shots" taken at Bush II
George H.W. Bush waited till he was well away from throngs of raging Negroes before he complained bitterly about the treatment of his son, George II, at the funeral of Coretta Scott King earlier this week.

"Anybody that shoots at the president of the United States at a funeral, I just didn't appreciate that," said George I.  This is the same guy who said that those who blow undercover intel officers' identities are "the most insidious of traitors," from the same family that regularly exploits African-Americans for political purposes.

You were in a decided minority, sir.  How's it feel to have the tables turned?  Watching you and II squirm in a house full of disgusted black Americans with NOLA still fresh on their minds reminded me of Richard Pryor's impression of white people visiting Africa.

Frankly, you two clowns got off light.  Rarely do all the millions of disillusioned and disenchanted Americans get a chance these days to confront our highly-insulated monarch; this time, he had no choice and Rev. Joseph Lowery did something so many of us have been dying to do and he did it with a righteous smile on his face and no doubt with the spirits of MLK and CSK—and JC, for that matter—filling him.

How fortunate for George II that Mrs. King passed away before the current Katrina hearings in which it's becoming screamingly obvious that not only is the government full of incompetent, heartless buffoons who have a clear disregard for anyone other than white Republicans, but our Dear Leader himself has been lying all this time about how uninformed the White House was of the devastation in NOLA.

Screw you, GHWB, and screw your asinine sons who are a disgrace to this nation.  You have brought ruin and shame to us all and death to countless innocents in America, Iraq and God knows where else.
» Yahoo helps China crack down on dissidents
Not that I use it much, but I will not use Yahoo! or any of its services from here on out.  I'm dropping out of the Yahoo groups and removing Yahoo Chat.  There are plenty of alternatives.  Reason why: Yahoo is giving identifiable user information to the Chinese government, which uses that to crack down on political dissidents like Zhi Li and Tao Shi (who spent 10 years in jail after China arrested him with help from Yahoo).

You really shouldn't be surprised... China also has a good friend in FOX News and New Media head Rupert Murdoch (an Australian, btw) who has a home in Beijing.

It's all about business.  You might want to take *your* business elsewhere.
» Senate office building cleared, possible nerve agent detected
What do you expect when you mix this with this?

Turned out to be a false alarm, as Uncle Teddy also indicated after emerging from the men's room.
» Chickenhawks don't give a cluck about you, veterans

Not that this is anything new.  Uncle Sam wants you crybaby vets with your little "grievous wounds" and your pitiful "shattered egos" to shut the fuck up.  Lots of good, upstanding, patriotic soldiers have died for their country, you don't hear them bitching and moaning, do you?

By the way, can someone get Ben Nelson, "Democratic" senator from the intelligently-designed state of Nebraska, on the phone and tell him it's okay to come out of the closet and proclaim his Republicanism?  For that matter, Lincoln Chafee might want to do the same and switch to the Democrats before GOP operatives find something to really chafe his lincoln. The lines have been clearly drawn for you, gentlemen, don't confuse the voters with your weird cross-party tactics.
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